Giving Within Budget

Often our parents give us budget to shop for the kids on their behalf. $50 for Christmas seems to be the standard amount; $30 - $40 for a birthday. It's never up for debate whether that amount is flexible: we just get the best gift we can with the money given.

But what about between spouses?

Alexandria and I have given each other $100 budgets for Christmas. Birthday gift budgets are usually used up in advance of the day itself, since there's always something you want/need that goes on sale before the day. Surprise presents are usually reserved for Mother's Day, Father's Day and Valentine's Day. The thousand pound gorilla is Christmas. Christmas seems to be the only holiday where a budget really presents a problem.

I always daydream about blowing the budget wide open and getting something fantastic. Something that makes Alexandria cry because it's so fabulous. A new diamond ring. A surprise trip to New York City. If money was no object, I'd be a viking at gifting. Problem is, money is an object. And even if I only overspent within the reaml of reasonableness (like that Roots Canada purse I know she would just love), even then, if we both do it, we've got a financial strain on our hands.

I asked the question of the Twitterverse, and got a mix of responses. Came to no firm conclusion. So I offer my thoughts on the topic:

• Don't go materially over budget on a gift for your spouse. After much thought, I think that's mostly just disrespectful. You agree on what fits a family budget, so stick to it. 
• Whatever the budget, big or small, never just buy your spouse "stuff". Avoid things that will be little more than garage or basement insulation in a couple months at all cost - that's just wasteful.
•  Never simply meet the budget. Don't bother buying your spouse the cheap version of something they really want. That's just "stuff" in disguise.
•  Gift cards are better than "stuff" (and more thoughtful than cash) but they still stink of laziness - so be careful with those. Some gift cards can be winners. A Starbucks card for someone who works near a Starbucks, for example. (Psst: men seem more receptive than women to gift cards from my informal Twitter polling.) In the end, gift cards aren't just loaded with money, they're loaded with potential disappointment.
•  One suggestion on Twitter was to make something. Probably a safer bet than a gift card, but the real-world feedback on that suggestion from women on my train the other day was that most of the husband-made items were tragic disappointments.

It seems like the best way to "win" on a budget is to look hard and often for sales. Yes, this means that your traditional last-minute shopping technique may not work, but it is best way to turn effort into success. Finding a great gift within your budget is probably the best course of action.

Lastly, I've found that a $5 gift for Alexandria with hours of thought or effort put into it is more valuable to her than a $300 gift bought out of convenience.

- Ryan.